I have learned a lot of things during this kidney journey that I never wanted to learn. I have learned how to connect myself to dialysis equipment, how to sleep when my body does not feel like my own, how to keep smiling when the medical news gets worse, and how to answer the same question over and over again when people ask how I am doing and I do not quite know what to say. But one of the biggest lessons has had nothing to do with medicine at all: it does not cost anything to be kind, and sometimes kindness can become the very thing that keeps another human being going.
That happened to me again this week. I reached out to David Krissman of The Great Social Experience and told him a little about what I am facing and what we are trying to accomplish. He did not make it complicated, he did not make me feel like I was asking for too much, and he did not treat me like another transaction. He simply helped me, and because of that generosity, my search for the person who may be able to save my life now has a new home.
That home is https://www.findmyone.org. I cannot fully explain how exciting it feels to type that address and know there is finally one simple place I can send people where they can understand this fight, learn why finding a compatible kidney is so difficult for me, see how they can help, and hopefully become part of the chain that leads me to the one person my body may actually accept.
There is something deeply moving about that to me because none of us knows what one act of kindness can become. David did not give me a kidney, but he gave me another way to find one. He did not erase the medical bills, but he gave me another way to reach somebody who might help with them. He did not solve everything I am facing, but he made the road in front of me a little less lonely and gave this campaign another tool that could quite literally help save my life.
That matters because my situation is not simple. I am a two-time cancer survivor, and the treatments that helped save me from Hodgkin’s lymphoma and colon cancer eventually left me with end-stage kidney failure. Today, dialysis is doing the work my kidneys can no longer do, but dialysis is not a cure. It is what keeps me alive while we search for a transplant that has become extraordinarily difficult to find because my immune system is highly sensitized.
My cPRA is 99.9999 percent. In everyday language, that means my body is expected to reject almost every potential donor before we ever get close to surgery. The transplant team has explained just how narrow that compatibility window is, and that is why I keep saying that I am not looking for everybody. I am looking for my one, and finding that one may require reaching millions of people before the right person ever sees my name.
The urgency has grown even more serious because the kidney failure is no longer affecting only my kidneys. Recent testing showed that the damage is now affecting other organs, including severe damage to my heart. That was one of those moments when the room seemed to get smaller around me, because every new complication is another reminder that my body cannot simply wait forever while we hope the right donor eventually finds us.
I still believe that person is out there. I believe somebody somewhere may see one video, one Facebook post, one radio interview, one television story or one shared link and decide to get tested. I believe somebody may forward my story to a family member, a friend, a coworker, a pastor, a broadcaster, an athlete, an artist or somebody with a large platform who can put this search in front of thousands or millions more people.
That is why https://www.findmyone.org means so much to me. It gives us one place to point everybody, one place where the story can live, and one address that is easy to remember when somebody says, “How can I help Steven?” The answer can now begin with three simple words: go to Find My One.
There are several ways to help, and I need people to understand that getting tested is only one of them. If you are healthy and willing to explore living kidney donation, please visit the HCA Midwest Health Living Donor Program at https://www.hcamidwest.com/patient-resources/living-donor-program and tell them you are inquiring about Steven Mills. Starting the process does not obligate you to donate, but it could tell us whether you might be one of the extraordinarily rare people whose kidney my body could accept.
If kidney donation is not something you can do, please do not assume that means you cannot help me. You may know the person who can. You may know somebody famous who can share this with ten million people. You may work at a radio station, television station, newspaper, church, business or organization that can put this story in front of an audience I cannot reach by myself. You may simply have friends who have friends who have friends, and somewhere inside that chain could be the person we have been trying to find.
Joshua Liljenquist and his team gave this search an extraordinary lift when they came to Garden City and told my story. The first video Josh created showed people what this battle actually looks like and helped put my donor search in front of millions of people. You can watch and share that original video here: https://www.lemon8-app.com/@joshlilj/7669122830998569486?region=us.
KAKE News also helped people understand the reality behind the campaign, including the daily dialysis and the extraordinary difficulty of finding a compatible living donor. Their coverage gave Kansas and people far beyond our state another window into what my family and I are living through, and you can watch and share that story here: https://archive.joshliljenquist.com/media/watch/kake-news-josh-liljenquist-garden-city-kidney-donor/.
Journalist Esther Dillard took the time to tell the deeper story of what this journey has cost physically, emotionally and financially. Her reporting gave people a much fuller understanding of how cancer, kidney failure, dialysis and transplant complications have intersected in my life, and that story can be read and shared at https://estherdillard.com/race-for-a-kidney-pastor-steven-mills/.
And then there is the financial reality, which is the part I sometimes wish I did not have to talk about. We need a kidney, but we need money too. Dialysis supplies, deductibles, medications, travel, medical appointments, transportation and normal life expenses do not disappear just because I am sick, and the longer this journey continues, the more expensive it becomes.
Josh established a GoFundMe to help my family survive the financial side of this fight while we continue searching for the donor. If you are able to give, even a small amount helps us keep moving, and if you cannot give, sharing the fundraiser is every bit as important because the person who sees your share may be the person who gives, the person who gets tested, or the person who puts this campaign in front of somebody else. The fundraiser is here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-pastor-steven-fight-for-his-life-p74hx.
I also need prayer warriors. I do not say that casually, and I am not using faith as a slogan. I need people praying for my heart, praying for my body, praying for my family, praying for the doctors and transplant teams, and praying that the person whose kidney could work for me somehow sees this before more damage is done.
This journey has taught me that people can change another person’s life without ever meeting them. Sometimes it happens through money, sometimes through medicine, sometimes through prayer, and sometimes through something as simple as saying, “I can help you with that.” David Krissman did that for me, and because he did, there is now a website called Find My One that could become the place where this entire story finally turns.
That is why I am asking everyone reading this to do one thing before you move on with your day. Please visit https://www.findmyone.org, learn the story, and send it to somebody else. If you can be tested, be tested. If you can donate financially, please help. If you have a platform, use it. If you know somebody with a platform, send this to them. If you pray, put my name in your prayers.
I do not know where my donor is, and I do not know how many more people we have to reach before we find that person. What I do know is that every act of kindness moves the story one person farther, and one of those people may eventually be the reason I am still here years from now writing On The Dial, preaching another sermon, aggravating my friends, watching my daughter grow up, and thanking God for another day I almost did not get.
It costs nothing to be kind, but kindness can be worth everything to the person who needs it. David reminded me of that this week, and now I am asking all of you to help me prove just how far one act of kindness can travel.
Please help me find my one.
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